outdated but still...

okok this was supposed to be posted yesterday but i couldn't - some computer problem i think

***

so fast - 2 years have already (almost) passed... many people would probably - i don't know? - be in this reflective and thoughtful mood right now... it's a bit like a shopkeeper stocktaking of all your products and evaluating how some products could be sold better/more, or which stocks should be removed to make way for newer and better ones.

i'd like to quote what my classmate s3ntH;| said during a gp lesson: (paraphrased) "we lead sad lives...as we grow we store our sorrows like a reservoir..." although it sounds depressing and bleak, it's really quite true right?

i still remember all the stupid or wrong things i said or done way back in primary school and even a bit earlier (not to mention, my parents still reminisce about the silly things i did, which were funny, to them that is heh)

of course our lives aren't that lousy (at least not all the time) (at least not for me) we have our happy moments/days but when we get sad we somehow forget how we could have been happy at all? a little odd that we don't accumulate this "reservoir" of happiness as easily as for the reservoir of sadness? are we innately sad people? haha... maybe we're just a bit too self-conscious at times. or too afraid to do the wrong things...

(tangent about being afraid to do wrong things) perhaps it's this asian culture thing; we're a bit too inhibited, in terms of our actions and words?)

anyway back to the thing about thinking about the past... it'll be nice to just forget about some things and just move on, but of course we can't. wonder if there's anyone from school that can say they really have "no regrets" about anything during the past two years? maybe there are? those people must be lucky, or really hardworking and smart. wonder if anyone is going to take photos tomorrow? would anyone want to? haha... (if i weren't lazy and concerned about losing the camera i probably may take a few) i'm not pessimistic about this whole farewell thing i'm just reflective about it... using my head rather than heart here hmm...

i'm still fairly optimistic about the future; i just hope i don't get lazy or scatterbrained or forgetful or indecisive (argh!)... i think those are some of the worst qualities to possess when you're independent (after 12 long years of formal education) sadly i AM a bit like that haha (still a little clueless about uni applications)

ok too long too long! need to do work and sleep - i need to improve my thinking speed haha!

***

ok i'm wrong, i'm too pessimistic; was quite happy to see people around me being trigger-happy today :) at least we're not sad people heh.